This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
