Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just tell him i said nine months
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
