Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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