the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
