i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
