Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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