I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
