I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
