How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
