Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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