There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're facebook friends in real life
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
