we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
