he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
