i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
