i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
