So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Even my vagina gasped.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
