god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
