I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
