You don't have asthma, your pregnant
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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