I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
