I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
