Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize