i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
