Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
