Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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