I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
