You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
