I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
