I puked a lego.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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