last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
