I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize