Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
3pm strippers are depressing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
