Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
