Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
