The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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