ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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