Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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