He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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