good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize