just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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