if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
