You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
