i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
