Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
