I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sext me about skeletons
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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