Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
