My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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