Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
