Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
