covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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