areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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