There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
