Got a toothbrush?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
