You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thus making me awesome and them whores
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need water and some morals
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
