batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
