i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
