Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
MIDGETS
????
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
