apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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