...so i touched it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
