I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
