You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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