I think I died a long time ago.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
